The things I am thankful for (other than the usual list)

To God, or whoever out there that is planning out my life in someway or other:

Thank you, for blessing me with my wonderful secondary school friends which cheer me up to no end. Whenever I meet them, I am reminded of how precious such a tight friendship is and how I can never find friends which support me so wholeheartedly in everything I do. 

Thank you for making me go through the worst few years of my life in secondary school. Things seemed so much worse 4 or 5 years ago when I am in it. But I eventually realized how that few years shaped me into who I am today – still a kid, but so much more understanding of the things going around me. Still immature, but at least more sensitive to the things that are happening

Thank you for giving me days which I feel absolutely horrible and crappy about myself, whether it is justified or not. Some days I just want to lash out at people and cry my eyes out. But I am thankful for these days because it makes me appreciate the good days that I have which everything is working out fine. 

Thank you for giving me a chance to serve in my CCA now. I complain about how busy I am to essentially everyone around me, but I think really, half the time it’s really just bad time management. I’m actually really glad for all the friends that I met there despite me complaining so much all the time. It’s actually really reassuring when people whatsapp me and entertain me even though they have no obligations to. 

Thank you for giving me great friends in my faculty. I had the most terrifying thought when I entered my faculty that everyone will back stab each other and all, but I guess I was completely wrong. I’ve met a lot of selfless and strong people which puts my problems to shame when I air them out. You don’t just meet amazing people based on chance and I’m really grateful for this bunch of friends.

Thank you for giving me my flaws. I still dislike nonetheless but I’ve also come to the realization that without them, I am not who I am. I may not be the skinniest, the prettiest, the fairest of them all, but I am still me. Despite my feeling ugly and fat days, I’m still here, doing the best I can to be myself, and I am thankful for that. 

Thank you for all the broken friendships and relationships. While it is actually pretty frustrating to think such broken relationships at times, but I’ve also realised: Those who matter won’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. I’d rather be alienated from such people than make my life miserable all over again. I’m also definitely thankful for making myself show that I actually have the capacity of much more love than I thought I could ever have. 

May the year ahead bring me much more trials and tribulations, much more complains and whining and make me a better and stronger person.

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