Life on my own

I’ve been staying on my own for the past few days and I have begun to rethink what I really need to do to do better for this semester.

I am actually borderlining on going crazy with fear now because yes, I am terrified for myself this semester. I know my results will eventually get better if I work hard enough but I feel that I am not even working at all. The past 2 nights I have been doing nonsense. LITERALLY NONSENSE. All because I couldn’t find the courage to say NO.

I think I need to firm up on my stand. The first night was bad. Given the next day I had so many lessons and I had to wake up early, it was literally horror of horrors. But the second night? I didn’t call for it. And I certainly didn’t say yes. This feels retarded I know. But I feel so annoyed that I am made to do something that I didn’t want to do again and I feel so bad for saying this, but really. Spare a thought for me?! 

So angst right now because of what happen. But there is nothing I can do again. It’s as if my hints to everyone that I need to focus and study hard was just bullshit. 

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