Happiness, to own or to be? (2011)

While choosing an essay question today, I saw this statement: “Happiness does not depend on what we have, but what we are.” In today’s society, how much do we appreciate ourselves? Do we value our self-worth, or do we degrade ourselves and reduce ourselves to ashes?

What makes people happy? Do we see ourselves as being happy? Happiness stems from within. But people are not happy with what we have, because we see what others have as more important as what we are. We want to become thinner, be smarter, we WANT to be other people.

But its a want, its never a need.

We’re never content with ourselves. Would having more money make us happy? Money can get us material goods, let us have the power to shop. But its temporary happiness that never lasts, never sustain.

I chose this question in the end, thinking I would fail it. But I didn’t. And concurrently, I found myself questioning a lot of things in my life. Needless to say, I am still questioning them now. Would having more friends make me happier? Would having more money, more company make me happy? Would being thin make me happier? 

I guess the answer is no. Instant gratification wouldn’t make me happier than I am now. Men crave company and detests loneliness. When you lose touch with the people around you, you feel distant. You don’t know what to say anymore. You won’t even know how to face certain people.

When you’re upset, people see it as an abnormally. Being happy everyday is the right thing to do. I came across an article discussing about sadness and happiness. It stated that we’re ‘condemned to happiness’, and I think its true. 

We’re not allowed to be sad. Because being sad or upset will show that you are weak. Being happy everyday is the right way to go. We don’t embrace sadness because we force ourselves to be happy. Its a phenomenon that no one notices because we’re all so accustomed to having people being happy.

Its not wrong being happy or sad. Its not good being perpetually sad. But there is just this thing about being happy all the time. I admit. 80% of the time I am very unhappy. Its just me being sensitive but yeah, I am unhappy. But I stick with the bullshit emotions I am feeling and live through it. Pretend to be happy. Pretend that my relationships are okay. But really, sometimes none of this is okay.

At times, you just want to break down and start crying because you don’t know what to do, you don’t want to care anymore, you don’t know what is wrong with you, or you just want some time to yourself, but you can’t.

We are forced to be happy, yet we live in denial, condemned to happiness.

I am upset and I am not denying it anymore.

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