It irks me how people can be so nonchalent towards when others run into trouble. 

Sure, it may be my fault, But waiting for something to appear is not the solution. You might as well say let’s wait for a solution to drop from the sky, and pray that we will pull through.

That is not the point. You have a problem, you solve it. You don’t wait for something to happen and hope for the best. You say it like it is a small problem and it is up to me to do something about it. Sure, you aren’t the person who has anything to lose right?

Maybe I was looking for trouble and I didn’t understand myself well enough. And maybe doing something I did not like is totally going against my values. I have been through this a hell lot of times and I’m still doing this same thing all over again and again.

Goodness, if I had to sum this whole incident up, it would be disaster. I’ll admit alright, it’s my fault. And any matters of this nature from now on, I’ll be very careful. Because the price I paid for this mistake not only cost me sleep, it cost me other things which I have planned out carefully. And it pisses me off that no one would give a fuck about my feelings. 


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